Michael Murphy - Photography, Fitness, & Synthesis

There are always things that irk you deep down in the recesses of your soul, yet you never notice them enough to identify. Here are a few things that I’ve identified. I’m sure you agree with many.

1. Sentences that end with a space before an exclamation point.
   Ex: Oh hai my name is Herpblargenderp !!!
2. Sentences that also end in an odd number of exclamation points.
   The general rule is as follows: One exclamation point is most grammatically correct. Three exclamation points, though not grammatically correct, is an acceptable way of casually conveying extra exclamation. NEVER use any number of exclamation points other than one or three.
3. The substitution of comma use over semicolon use.
   Ex: I love squirrel cake, it’s so good, I wonder if there are any good recipes, lol
4. Realizing all too late that the TP dispenser in the public bathroom is empty.
5. The kid who only likes “indie” music and movies, because he/she believes that if anyone else likes it, it must be too mainstream.
6. Onions. As a loather of the onion, I find ordering a burrito/taco/burger/wrap particularly difficult when the “hold the onions” request is rarely honored.
7. An obscure/untalented wannabe producer using the words “Productions”, “Entertainment”, “Studios”, or other loaded words in his/her title to imply that it’s not just one person noodling around in Fruity Loops and ACID.
8. White people wearing 59fifty hats.
9. 59fifty hats.
10. The 10 years older people with low cheek bones look when they wear aviators.
11. The same people from #8 that drive trucks with Monster Energy stickers on the window.
12. Ricer cars that prominently display their VTEC sticker.
13. Almost turning the car off, then your favorite song starts on the radio.
14. Trying to avoid putting your foot through the razored part of your jeans.
15. The 24 hours it takes to transfer money from savings to checking, especially when you need it in 5 minutes.
16. Girls whose profile pictures are taken from an extremely high angle. This is a sure sign of an attempt to cut 100lbs.
17. xXx[Genericfemalename]TrAgeEdyXxX <- The only tragedy here is that #16 and #17 are usually both used together.